What Are Best Friends For?
by ImaginedInsanity
Summary: Kurt doesn't tell Blaine he thought he was going to ask him out on Valentine's Day. He's too scared to risk losing the best friend he ever had. Short drabble... I don't often do serious so let me know how it went...


**I did it again! I was in a bit of a bind on the No Place Like Home chapter, so I thought I'd sit down and write a little drabble. It's a sad, unrequited love one, guys. I don't usually do the sad thing, but this was a bit of a catharsis on my personal life, so it was written. It's along the lines of what I would have done in Kurt's situation in Silly Love Songs. I've done the loving your best friend thing, and I have always been too afraid of losing someone to tell them or love them too much to tell them if that makes sense at all… Sorry… Angsty and dramatic tonight! I listened to Adele! Blame her! :P Anyway… Let me know how I did with the serious…**

"I don't let anyone close enough to hurt me," Blaine said softly. "I've never had a… boyfriend. I've always managed to push them away before anything happens. I guess I've just always figured that everyone leaves in the end, right? So why let yourself get hurt?"

Kurt looked at him and his heart broke. Blaine was broken. He was perfect and flawless and broken.

"You understand that by not letting anyone close you break your own heart, right?" Kurt was tempted to place a hand over Blaine's but refrained. He was in love with someone who didn't trust love. Blaine didn't want to let himself love Kurt or anyone in case he got hurt. But he obviously couldn't see the giant flaw in the plan, the one that had him sitting brokenly across from him at The Lima Bean, feeling worthless and unloved and utterly, utterly lonely.

"It's better than letting someone in and have them take my heart with them, Kurt," Blaine said hoarsely. "My mum left after the divorce and my dad's barely around now that I'm the gay disappointment. It just seems that as soon as I get excited about the possibility that someone might actually love me, they break my heart."

Kurt hated that Blaine was talking about Jeremiah. He was clearly not what Blaine needed or deserved, and it killed Kurt to see him striving so far below his potential. Blaine deserved to be with someone clever and witty who could make him laugh; someone who could help him dress himself, because he clearly needed help whenever he had the option to leave the Dalton blazer in the closet. Blaine needed someone who understood the joy of performing to an audience and someone who could understand his need for instant gratification. He needed someone who would love him and see through his private school perfection mask.

Someone like Kurt.

"I don't want to break my heart over anyone anymore," Blaine said softly and twirled his cardboard coffee cup in his long fingers, "I want to let someone in who wants to be with me and loves me and understands me and won't leave, Kurt. I just don't know how to trust that I'll pick the right guy."

Kurt sighed. It was a nice dream. One he could easily fulfil, but he wasn't going to take advantage of Blaine's vulnerability to profess his feelings. He was a better friend than that. Blaine didn't need a quick fix; he needed to be happy in his own skin, alone, not striving for love and applause. He wanted to make people happy and make them love him all the time. Kurt understood that. He'd been a performer long enough to understand that rush of adrenaline at a sea of applause directed at you was synonymous with the way it felt to have someone love you. Even if Kurt had no experience in the love department he knew those feelings went hand in hand.

But Blaine needed a love that wasn't an instant applause. He needed a love that would be a slow burn. People's hands get tired clapping vigorously for too long. He needed someone who was willing to worship him forever with little claps that left him adored and the gratification still burning.

"What would you want him to be like?" Kurt asked softly, staring with longing at Blaine's hand. It would be so easy, so simple to reach out and take it in his own, but loving your best friend meant that you had to put them first. You can't lose them, and the terror of pushing boundaries always stilled Kurt's hand.

"I think I just want him to love me," Blaine said wistfully, "I know that's not much of a prerequisite list, but I think that's the only thing that would be a deal breaker, you know? Everything else is just noise."

Kurt shook his head.

"Blaine, people don't fall in love right away, it takes time." Kurt lied to Blaine, knowing full well that the first time he had met him; he had taken Kurt's breath away. Kurt had always known immediately that people would be important to him within minutes of meeting them. With Blaine it had taken a total of three seconds for him to turn and gaze up at Kurt on those steps at Dalton for Kurt to know Blaine was special.

"I want someone who I could trust completely, someone who gets me and likes the same things as me, but has some different interests too. Maybe someone who I feel comfortable around and I can take care of," Blaine mused, still playing with the cup.

Kurt felt his heart leap at the description. He was a perfect fit.

But Blaine was his friend.

If they broke up…

It would kill Blaine for someone else to leave. And Kurt couldn't stand to leave him.

If it meant he got to be with Blaine in this small way; having coffee dates and chatting aimlessly for hours about nothing, then Kurt would take it. He would take any small way he could be a part of Blaine's life. And he would never be responsible for hurting him. A forever of being Blaine's friend seemed like heaven in comparison to the worst case scenarios he could envision.

Blaine sighed.

"Have you ever found anyone you thought you could be with?" Blaine asked curiously and Kurt swallowed haggardly, his throat sore and swollen causelessly.

"Yeah, once," Kurt said truthfully, praying Blaine wouldn't pry, and desperately, desperately wishing he would ask the easy question, "Who?" so that Kurt could look into his eyes and take his hand and smile and say softly, "_You_."

But Blaine didn't ask.

And Kurt couldn't tell.

"You're a good friend, Kurt," Blaine smiled at him finally, "Thanks for listening."

Kurt felt like screaming, or crying.

"What are best friends for?" he managed to choke out with a tiny smile that was completely overpowered by the longing in his eyes.

**Awww :(**


End file.
